Blogospherical rambling II- Carolina Hurricanes

Dear Hurricanes,

What can I say about you that hasn't already been said about cheap hookers? You're a cheap form of entertainment, but you underperform, and people leave afterwards feeling disgusted and unsatisfied most of the time. This season started pretty damn bad, but after losing your first two you came out and won the next two. After that Florida win, I thought, "This is just what they need to pick things up!"

But YOU thought, "Okay guys, we won two games. Wait... how did we do that? What are fundamentals? Disc in net? I no get. How do I play this crazy game? Uhhh... let's see..." I mean, that's what it feels like. You lost to Tampa, and that sucked enough. A 5-2 loss to Tampa is unacceptable. But no, why stop there! Why stop at one! You had a THRILLING LOSS to Pittsburgh, then lost a heartbreaker to the Devils, then lost to the Islanders (who were put here to hate on my teams) in a game you should've won twice over, then Colorado, Minnesota, St. Louis, Philly, San Jose, and Wednesday's 3-0 blanking by the Florida fucking Cat Turds. Really, guys? Really? I mean, I'm not one to jump ship on a team. I am going to stick with a team thick or thin (see: Buffalo Bills). I fell in love with you last season. I still love you guys this season, but you're not giving any sort of effort, and that makes me sad. You're like the Ike to my Tina Turner- you're just going to abuse me until I leave, crying and bloody. I'm pretty sure of it. Ten losses in a row is bad. Where do you even start? Without Cam I'd like to think there would be some pretty ugly double digit scores. The Defense is... oh wait, there's defensemen? WHAT ARE THEY DEFENDING?! Some of these games have been downright sad to watch. The offense... they're pretty offensive, so I guess they're there. It's just altogether bad. I just think that, when you outshoot the FLORIDA PANTHERS 21-4 IN THE FIRST PERIOD YOU SHOULD GET A GOAL FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! COME ON NOW!

I mean, seriously. If you guys lose to the Leafs... well, I guess the positive here is that I'll be working. And then I'll be too drunk to care after that. And there's a girl at Duff's who "feels the pain".

-Mikey